The Latest

Posted in Daily, depression, family, The real me story, Uncategorized on March 28, 2017 by youngblkmaster

I’m gonna cut to the chase with this one, I’ve been thinking, dreaming about other people, other women.. Why do I do this? I mean yeah I think it’s ok to dream and fantasize about other people it’s cool. But I don’t know I just keep thinking HARD about my friend JC, thinking about how it’ll never be. What will never be? The only thing that can be pleasure.. But don’t you want more then pleasure? What if it’s all I feel I can have? Maybe I dream of her cause we haven’t spoke in a long time.. I should say hi.. Heard she’s getting married and so on. So I’m happy for her, I do all the time wish my life was different like the way it is now isn’t the way I want it. I don’t mind having had all these children, I always knew I would. No matter who I was with. BUT I do wish the timing was different. There is so much I wish I could do can’t do that stuff with such a big family. I wanna.. I wanna see what a glory hole is about. Doubt I’ll join but I wanna see it.. I wanna go places and stay out most of the night with people I don’t know and get to know them then maybe never see them again or at least not on a normal basis lol…  Oh well it’s life.. Whatever…

So.. I don’t know I don’t know.. My life is so fucked and I need to fix it. Sometimes my friends tell me to leave my girl but they don’t get I like having a girl, they ain’t taking her place when they say leave, they ain’t offering a spot for me to lay my head when they say shit.. Craziness. Instead of leave people need to say figure it out, see what’s wrong. And no don’t talk YELL about it. I wonder why I am so sexual powered, like I think about sex like all the time. Gotta figure that out. Sex makes me feel better, feel loved, feel wanted. So I love it

Head ache

Posted in Uncategorized on November 28, 2016 by youngblkmaster

You know what I hate more then anything? Being  toldi can have something and never getting it… I been along nearly begging for blower job for months and I let it go I’m not getting it… But then when you say you will cause you want me to cook fort you then you don’t.. I just lose the want for it.. I mean fuck it is not like she wanna do it any way so what’s there point? Shane to sheer used to do it like mmm crazy good. That’s that married life huh? That’s the first thing to go I hear might taller some years but it’s gone first. Anyway I dunno I’m like, my head hurts

Shesh 

Posted in Uncategorized on October 22, 2016 by youngblkmaster

You know it’s insane when you the crazy one is listening to the sane like spouse talk about suicide.. I swear she. Shit goes wrong it’s either about her dying or leaving me with all the kids.. To start her life over. I’m like if you wanna bail do it.. I might do some bad things but I never wanna bailout and I never say it to her.. But hear it a lot.. Life is crazy though so it’s whatever.. crazy life

Sex addiction?

Posted in Uncategorized on October 22, 2016 by youngblkmaster

Is it real? I mean I hear if people addicted to drugs, alcohol, porn and touching them self.. So maybe right? I don’t think I have it though cause I don’t wAnt anyone or anything thing. Not into men, animals or whatever… Wonder if you can be addicted to making babies? Lol…. Oh man. I’m so lonely tonight.. wish I had more female friends or FB 

Posted in Uncategorized on October 19, 2016 by youngblkmaster

I dunno I’m just blah lately, why do I have this need or is it a desire to do things? Like who fucked me up so bad I feel I need more? I don’t know.. sometimes I hate me,  Wish I was better or different I feel inadequate. I wanna fuck someone who… I don’t know I feel like a failure. 

You know it’s weird people call me perv and shit but sexual things make me feel better about myself, life. I know someone reads this and says he just wanting it but no truth is it makes me feel wanted… not worthless or unworthy. 

That’s why I wanna fuck everyone I bet. Feel loved.. I tried, wanted, desired to be with my one friend J maybe she wanted me to.. But I never say the right things. I’m gonna go back to Facebook see if.. see if I don’t know I hate FB 

Life man 

Posted in Uncategorized on September 22, 2016 by youngblkmaster

So my mom is putting my cousin out well she did already, don’t know where he is maybe spending the night cat friends every night. 

Anyway, So like I’m trying to deal with myself.. I’m I dunno feel sorry for myself. Like how a. I black right yet I don’t feel it . Not tall, not hung, can’t do ball good or nothing. Those are the few factors every black man has.. Not me.. Hell fuck it this is mainly about me feeling as if I’m small, small dick.. Not like micro but cmon every I see is bigger.. Not just porn fucking real life clips. No one is ever small… Or I do t know I feel thin feel like I got nothing. And I always feel the need to fuck someone else but I never do.. Just a urge. I need to fix my head.

Pervert?

Posted in Uncategorized on August 30, 2016 by youngblkmaster

I’m thinking I’m just a pervert, sex is something I think about a lot I read pornos, watch them, watch hentai, read hentai manga hell even rp smutty.. Think of all women in a naughty scene… I dunno just a thought, I need to clean I gotta fix my house, well we gotta fix our house It’s so fucked up.